I can’t be like John cooper Clark.

I’m not northern, I can’t say bastard and sound like I mean it.

I come from Suffolk and my accent is soft.

I come from Suffolk so I must be a bit daft.

I might get red glasses as an homage.

I might get red glasses because my eyesight is shite.

I can’t be like John cooper Clark.

Cause I just can’t talk that fast.