The meeting is about to begin so many world leaders in one place, Glasgow

COP 26, they will all sit around and devise a plan without argument or malice to save our world

The Chinese won’t be there because they are too busy building new coalfired power stations

And making plans to take back Taiwan who don’t want to be part of China what a surprise

This is a triple purpose threat because they have now upset the Americans and Japanese as well

Probably a good thing they are not going we wouldn’t want to detract from COP 26

The French will be there if they are not too busy capturing our fishing boats and cutting the power cable to Jersey

While at the same time trying to get support from the EU against us to stop us protecting our fishing grounds

India is going to be there they are only producing 70% of their electricity with coal so all good

Australia one of the worlds biggest coal exporters is going and will not put net-zero into law

America will be represented of course they don’t seem to be able to decide whether climate change is happening or not

On the one hand, they are fighting against clean air legislation still digging coal-producing oil but want to be leaders in saving the planet, I do love a V8 though

And then, of course, there is us we are talking a good fight but how well are we really doing we have a lot of old poorly insulated houses, and our new houses are being built with gas boilers for heating

Uptake of new technology is slow because it’s expensive we need more subsidies to help people go green, in the town that I live in there is not one public charging point

You could drive here for a day out but unless you live nearby you can’t drive home

To summarise COP 26 is promoting itself as the answer lets hope the attendees can keep their hands off one another’s throats and not start another war long enough to do something useful.