Don’t let me die in trainers or in a hospital gown.
Let me die with dignity my last written word shouldn’t be a disclaimer.
Let me die chasing a gang of bank robbers or holding a mugger down.
Maybe even jiving to the proclaimers.

I can’t walk five hundred miles I’ve got arthritis in my toe.
I could drive five hundred miles but that would be the Faeroes.
I want to go with a bang but I won’t be a suicide bomber.
Ending up with a hundred virgins what a bummer.

I would rather have Brenda the dogs the beach hut and endless summer.
Hang on a minute I would miss the autumn mists.
And the winter haw frosts in the sun.
Oh sod it I’ll hang on there’s lots I haven’t done.

Shining in the darknesswith its coldwhite light

Like an impassive observer of a world in chaose of its own making

It hangs there doing its job controlling our tides

It will still be working when we have completed our journey to extinction

Without our malign influence how long before it sees our planet green and healthy

A late night walk into the woods

I come across a dimly burning fire

Surrounded by a naked fat man

Accompanied by an equally fat naked woman
Upon the alter laid a naked fat virgin

I could see why she would be in this state

If this is paganism no wonder its dying out

It looked like a German nudist beach in December

Stop I said you cannot kill a virgin its bad luck

We were not going to said the fat warlock and witch

Go home I said you’re getting wet and your fire is nearly out

That’s why we’re here said the witch life is such a bitch

They dressed and walked off a sad bedraggled coven

Back to their lives of accountancy and nursing

In the summer of my fifth year I learned to fish my dad and my older brother and me set off. We took some dough and walked to a local pond called the figure eight for an obvious reason on the way my dad pulled some sheeps wool of a barbed wire fence.

When we arrived he mixed the wool with the dough to help keep it on the hook.We caught roach which were tiny but to me it was so exciting sparked a lifelong interest in fishing and its nice to have this happy memory.

Up at five oclock its dark and damp as I crawl out of bed I’m thinking I hate early mornings

Bathroom then dress with one eye on the clock while trying not to wake my partner soundly sleeping

Grab my phone and walk downstairs trying to remember what I need to take to work

A cup of tea a smoke and listen to the news as quietly as I can

I gather together my crockery cutlery and food to last me through the next thirty two hours at work its more like an expedition than a shift

As I leave the sunrise gives me cheer spreading its light across the land washing away the thoughts of lost sleep

Just another day and a half in the life of a key worker